An Urgent Call

Feeling all restless and worked up. All the hours taken to revise and keep revising has made me felt even more droggy and needless to say, how haggard I have been looking lately. Stuck in front of the laptop and glued to my seat for hours aren't my forte. My life is in a chaos and complete mess. This happens when the epiphany comes late and to cram everything in a week isn't a good choice. However, there is no other choices left, and have to settle with this every one. It's better late than never to start buck up and step on the gas.

Sabr and Stay strong!

Not even half way through and before everything bottles up to a point of melting, I, then decide I really need a booster to keep me motivated to carry on when not a thing I do makes me feel any better. A cure to this seasonal epidemic. And so I call my mummy. I am not wrong and in fact, it is the best decision ever. Mummy always knows how to motivate me and thus eradicate the resentment that rested heavily in my heart. She knows me all too well and undoubtedly, her magical words sooth me, my restless heart and mind like a magician reads mantra while waving his magic wand. In a split second, all the pain and stress is gone in the thin air. I need no reason to love you forever and always!

Mummy, May you and dad are always in the best of health and iman! 

It's here, can't you smell it?

Sometimes we need to consign ourselves to the fate and accepting the fact that thing is as it is. Like, next week is the start of final exam of this very semester. Dang! Try to rub my eyes in disbelief and bang my head to the wall just in case I am still daydreaming, but heck, reality kicks in and a river of tears wouldn't change the fact that next week I'll be sitting for my first exam paper. Time waits no man. Waiting for the study mode to kick away the laziness in me and thus possesses my inner side is like waiting for the airplane to arrive at the bus station. Oh bummer!

But fret not, the turmoil will be over in the matter of 2 weeks or so. Heaven much? Better yet, wait till you hear this part, that is the best part of all being Jan 2012 intake is finishing exam earlier than anyone else which means extra holidays. Shoot! Whose in the right mind doesn't love extra days of semester break? Come on. Lets toss and cheers to this newsflash! 

On a more serious note, exam always freaks me out to think of my bad performances in the last few semesters. Few days before any tests, I get clammy and claustrophobic, worry for nothing. That's so me. Yet again it's all rezeki fixed by Allah, worth the effort I gave, no regrets. Not that we don't need any talisman or good luck charms for this exam, all we need from you all out there is sincere prayers from the hearts because it is the best gift of all. Hopefully, we will do just fine and pass this semester with exceptional result, Aminn.

To everyone out there in the same boat with me, wishing you all the very best and may the strongest force be with you.

May Allah ease our journey, Aminn.

# Feeling extremely droggy, a combination of drowsiness and grogginess and boy, this cold wind and windy weather bring the overflowing urge to sleep. In any second, I shall mellow myself in the cocoon of loneliness disguising itself as a fluffy duvet that keep me warm from cold and keep me company every night.  

Tales Alive

I was nowhere near a good storyteller. I used to join storytelling competition, representing my school, but that was a century ago back then in primary school. and the environment and ambiance was a whole lot different than today. As luck had it, this semester, I had to deal with a course entitled, Stories for Young Learners which carried 3 credits, which was a lot and there was no space to fool around in this course considering that sum of credit. Studying different genres of story was one part and to do storytelling simulation in class which really made me cold feet was another part. Mostly I enjoyed every minute I spent in the class. But the best part of all was, boy was I surprised to know that I was shortlisted to be one of finalists for intrabatch storytelling competition.

On a side note, to my surprise, it seemed to be that I still had the storytelling soul in me though there were lot of loopholes to be ameliorated with the most. Frankly speaking I wasn't doing that good enough to expect and earn a string quartet, fireworks, or even drum rolls to mark this little achievement which was again nothing to be prided of. So last Wednesday, we had this competition held at one of the lecture halls in our campus with the theme, Tales Alive. The perk was, it was mandatory for everyone and I really meant everyone to wear costumes on that day and it was such a brilliant idea to have everyone overdressed or gone dandy once in a while for a good cause. Plus, it coincided with Halloween celebration, not that i celebrated it as it was against my belief but it was just a random thought that fleeted through my mind. 

As it was a huge deal for me, this thing made me took a big gulp of nervousness and vomited fear. I envisioned the possibility of me having had a series of humiliating events on the stage like fainted upon seeing a large crowd of people in the hall with their eyes all on me like zombies demanded heads (not to mention, the presence of real school kids just to watch us performed which doubled my anxiety), drenched in sweat as my uncontrollable nervousness escalated, or hardly uttered any words due to sudden Parkinson strike. What if all of a sudden, I forgot my lines? What was I supposed to do? Knew it too well I was aggrandizing too much over a small matter. Yet again it was the matter of 7 minutes for god sake and everything could happen during that stipulated time. However, my lucky star wasn't with me and I did not win any places. But fret not, the experiences itself was the greatest reward of all. After all, no regrets, I had tried my very best and accepted the fact that there were others who were way better than me in this thing. I did learn lot of valuables things from this participation, especially from the feedback received from the lecturer on how to be a good storyteller, a crucial skill that a language teacher must have. This was a golden opportunity worth to seize in order to improve and edify myself before I embarked on my journey into teaching world. Kudos to all the winners!       

Told ya! Everyone dressed up to the nine. Now try to spot me. good luck! 

Why oh Why

Wasn't it always the way, the book you recently read seemed to have a strong connection with whatever angst adulthood drama you just have. There were certain things in life that you wished it never happened. but, somehow, out of your control and will, it just happened. And things started to change bit by bit. The metamorphosis was painstaking. The worst was you never seemed comfortable with it, so how to endure this without having needed to suffer acute emotional inertia?

Surely though it never started that way, but it really was my fault for I'd been lying some very personal stuff that I should have kept it tight in the closet. There was a need for me to be more vigilant and careful next time with whatever I was about to utter. So did it ever occur to you that some people misinterpreted what you were telling? Countless times, to put it in an easier way, they didn't get my jokes. They should have known me all too well that I joke a lot. Well, what was worst than a colossal misunderstanding about myself. Now that everything was pretty much a spoiled broth. there was nothing much I could do about it but to settle with whatever that was left and consign myself to my fate. All I could do now was to glean real courage and to swallow my own pride in order to man up wrong things and clear the water of misunderstanding.  

Mostly sorry for am not trying to be forlorn on these auspicious days, but it saddens me to think that I blow the one and only chance I have. *tsk

"I believe everything happens for a reason and I must be strong. In every bad ordeal, there must be a silver lining or rainbow awaits at the end of the tunnel."     

Giveaway from MessySerabut

Ola! For I was a bit on hiatus on this site lately, I totally blame the coming test and all that seem to drag me away from spilling whatever it is I like to say in here.

Let me get this straight. A friend of mine, MessySerabut is organising a giveaway contest and I think everybody should give it a shot. Stand a chance to win cool merchandises. But of course, terms and conditions are applied. For more details, click on the picture and you will be directed to the aforementioned blog. 

Wait no more! Come and give it a try, who knows the lucky star might be with you. :D

Bread and Butter

Because things are going pretty wild these days, writing has never failed to give me the therapy that i'm always seeking. Name it, free writing or leisure writing, they shall be my bread and butter. I like watching my fingers make their dancing moves on the keyboard, typing away whatever that hoards within. Whether it rains or storms, it is there for me, verbalizing my every feeling and thought that fleet through my mind, helping me a lot to dance in the rain. On a more serious note, entertaining me when even an ice cream fails to lift the resentment that rested in my heart. Just so you know, it just feels so good to be able to lash everything out. There you go, I say it.  

 

Felda Batu 8, Changlun

The best thing about having two mums now is that you get more prayers on your success. How sweet and thoughtful they are. The one from your real mom who has unceasingly loved you from the very beginning you see the world, and the one you just have from a program you join called Program Anak Angkat who is just as sweet as the one you already have. 

Though we are not family by blood, the warmth, charm, comfort and hospitality that we have received make us feel like staying at our own houses. I believe the intangible bond we have created is just as strong as the real one we have. The sweet thing about my mak angkat is she humbles herself by asking us to call her, mak. 

Mak, in life, Allah gives us brief moments to be together, but sometimes in those brief moments, we get memories that last forever like this one we just have. May you are always in the best of health and imann. Aminn. 

Our little family. 

Anak Angkat and Keluarga Angkat, at Felda Batu 8, Changlun Kedah

Thanks in abundance to those who have contributed a lot in helping us making this silaturahim a success. Alhamdulillah, we couldn't be anymore grateful. Keep in touch folks!

More Work

Definitely a bit chilly in the past few days until now...been raining every now and then, and the sun hardly makes its way through the thick dark clouds that are about to burst into tears of rain in any seconds. It reminds me of seasons I like most, autumn and winter which are possible to happen in Malaysia. But thanks to the geography of northern Malaysia for we experience 2 distinct seasons, dry and wet. And now it's wet season, I guess. One thing I like most about this place at this time is that this place witnesses a solemn stillness holds, and a perfect calm prevails which really bring out the beauty of this very land. More than happy to wake up every morning to the cold fresh air that shoves the face like icy water. 

Seem that I have nothing much to do when in fact, I have two tasks to be submitted tomorrow morning. And right now, as you can see, am rather typing this post away when I should dedicate all the time I have for the tasks. But decide to give myself a breather for a while because this brain of mine has been cudgeling for hours with little break to bring out the best idea it could...hence it is time to recharge the energy. I need it most right this second and couldn't afford to have any breakdown or anything because these tasks constitute a lot of percentage and the next reason is, i'm catching a bus to somewhere for my long weekend tomorrow which I could not afford to bring along the tasks with me. By hook or by crook, I need to get them done tonight even if they cost me my sleep, but that is tiny weeny matter.  

Now that i'm struggling with my own writ and grit, wish me the best and still in one piece after tonight! :D  

#ganbatte   

Alive and Kicking

As Salam

Long time have I not scribbled something in here. The past weeks have been quite a week...even to scroll down the dashboard to see the updates I hardly do, what more to write anything lengthy. Not that I have nothing to jot down just that laziness hits me to the rock bottom so it, really is my mistake for letting myself being lackadaisical. Plus, I've been a busy bee back in the days, with little or no break in between until everything bottles up to a point of total meltdown. Even so, this blog has always had a place in the corner of my heart. Now that I'm back on my feet...so just bear with me and what I'm going to rant.

Done with my last school attachment. great company, i've ever had. big things are ahead of me next semester, one of them is full practicum.

Know it all too well that we are all still in the raya mood and the thing I'm gonna talk is slightly off the topic, yet it is what people of my age are excited about or at least, thinking about it somewhere in the back of their mind. And marriage, it is. But first, taking this chance to congratulate my very very very best friend who's going to walk down the aisle very soon, in sha Allah. At first, all surprised, but excited to know that you've finally found the one you always dream of and we all couldn't be anymore happier for you. Back in the day of pure and unadultered teenagehood, we are more than happy to discuss about our crushes, but now, someone has taken a step forward. Somehow, it feels different, but our friendship shall remain the same. In fact, it is great to know everyone is moving on and doing very well in their life. Looking forward to the day. May Allah bless you always and everything you have planned. 

Like it is being told in every cliched Malay movies, love comes when it is least expected. So as to get marry, there's no need to rush. No point of courting anyone here and there if at the end of the day, s/he isn't meant for you. There will come the right time for you to settle down. In all fairness, let's ponder this one line that says..."Janganlah kita sibuk mencari jodoh, sebaliknya sibukkanlah diri kita mencari hidayah Allah." Have a deep thought about it...don't you think we are running out of time to really devote ourselves to Him, the one and only? So why do we disconnect our relationship with Allah and forsake everything into vain? 

I think i've said too much. Have a nice weekend! 

Let our faith stands still and strong.

9

This is one of those moments in life I'm going to treasure the most. 2 more years to go. It isn't that long as it sounds. Hence, let's cherish what we have now before everyone takes their own step into the world. 

Class iftar. The bros. Credit to Hafiy for the pic. =)

Voyage

The name as it suggests, a journey of a person with a huge potential in life bestowed upon him by Allah that are yet to be unfurled.

The one that will never take a day off from seeking Allah's blessing, mercy and forgiveness to lead the way to Jannah.

The one that will and  always encounter many challenges that the world has to offer that seems ridiculous at times and some of it does cause him to stumble and fall.

The one that will continue his way, peacefully, calmly, and full of confidence and faith.

The one that is willing to accept defeat and failure in order to learn and gain experience in life, with a big goal that is to grow stronger day by day and get closer to Allah. 

The one that love to be taken away by good books and a long walk on the beach and a stroll in the park on a sunny day, to enjoy Allah's creations.

The one that embraces his shortcomings for they define him as much as his talent.

For I, will continue my voyage with the strong will, infinite determination, strength, and courage of a Mujahideen.

Bon Voyage

Passion

Yeah, you're right after all. This might be the crappy blog that I can write nonsensical things in my pajamas. I know. Nothing here is worth to be read. Nothing here is worth to be shared. Nothing here is worth to be enjoyed. Yet everything here is a memory worth to be cherished. It is the only thing that I could count on to remind me how much have I gone through over the years - the smiles, the giggles, the pain, the tears...

But it's okay. I like writing and documenting my every thoughts here because it gives me a surge of relief to be able to let it out loud. You know, it takes real courage to immortalize every single details into words. This is they way I roll. I'm gonna keep my fingers dancing on the keyboard and nothing could stop me from verbalizing every thoughts that fleet through my mind, not even you.  

Have faith in people and embrace their uniqueness. Surely you will be surprised. :)

Ramadhan 1434H

As Salam

Believe it or not...Ramadhan is here, bidding us hello. Alhamdulillah for He has bestowed upon us the chance to savour another Ramadhan in our lives. Make the most of this Ramadhan to the fullest like it is our last for such a colossal waste if we let this golden and once-a-year opportunity slip through fingers.

  

Envy at those who have finally found their turning points. What about us? Are we there yet? Will Ramadhan change us and eradicate the other side of us that we abhor most...the side which always sees bad in other people? Seize this moment and make a move that turns us a better person, in sha Allah.

May Allah's blessings be with us ahead. :D

Persistence

Biiznillah

On how to reach the dream

We mustn't give it up

Hard though it may seem

Persistence is the key 

Never let it make us queasy

Sometimes we all have things to do 

that are not fun or easy

Yes! I can do it

Try harder every day

There are sacrifices to be salvaged,

it called for working rough

But there is lots of fun along the way

which help when things get rough 

#Persistence="i can do it" thought + giving effort + working tough 

Chill

Definitely a bit chilly this morning. Isn't it great that it is raining today? Hope it continues to rain throughout the week so we will have a beautiful, fresh and cool world to wake up to every morning. Weee...

Alhamdulillah

Anniversary

#June,28th 2010

27 misfits

Thanks Sammy

2 celebrations at the same time

Time saunters by pretty fast. Heck yeah...galloping away to the tick of time...3 years seem like yesterday. Can you believe it? I possibly cannot. Lest we may forget...on this very date...we first met back in 2010. Back then we are so naive and gullible. Over the years, we have taken our baby steps or quantum leap to grow and mature bit by bit. Our youthful vigor and teenage adrenaline are at their best to try almost everything college life has to offer. Such amazing 3 years, we have shared...it has been a crazy ride, yet splendid. And we are together through thick and thin, still. Though years may have worn us...but never will everything that is thrown at us get us weary and teary. Instead...we grow even stronger than before. A long journey ahead of us...keep on walking despite rain, storm, and shenanigans.

All that laugh

All that smiles

All that bickerings

All that tears

All that we have shared

Will forever be there

Etched in the back of our minds

As memories to be cherished

For the rest of our lives

Stay young, nimble and spry! :D

#TESLcohort2cycle3

#heart TESL D
#Alhamdulillah

 

Doubt

As much as I want to deny it, there is inkling that incessantly says that I am not cut out for this after all. This thought fleets through my mind and gets me to think that I may be as good as something else I yet to discover and unfurl. T_T

Just so right

#self-confidenceVSdelusion

The Day

Don't wish away what you have and you just receive. Just because it isn't the way you have always wanted, doesn't mean you can take it for granted...stick this in mind...you get what you give. Every little thing that is bellowed upon you is a gift and sooner it will bring you to the good and happy ending that you never ever imagine...it's a long battle. The most important thing is we must be thankful for that He still gives us sustenance and mostly, the chance. Say Alhamdulillah...that is all it takes.  

"Sometimes Allah gives us failure and hardship to teach us to stay and be strong, to get up, but mostly reminding us enlightenment and sustenance are His only right"

Alhamdulillah. Could never thank you enough. 

#ResultDay

#CambridgePlacementTest

#Semester3FinalExamResult

#Alhamdulillah

Nice

#2012throwback

Manukan Island

As I write, the late afternoon sun is lighting up the spray from the water skier out on the deep blue waters of the sea. Water which reflects the deep azure sky and stretches out to the mountains and isles on the far shore, over which tiny wisps of clouds are settling. SubhanAllah...it's really very nice here.

Happy

Everyone deserves to be happy, of any reason.

;)