Friday, 30 September 2011

Time to hit the book!

Lectures almost come to an end. As of next week, it will be the last week of interaction for most of the subjects that I take this semester. Truth be told, I am quite worried as this means it gets me nearer to the examination; the one thing I love the most about study. To get it right, I am not fully prepared by any means. What makes me scared the most is because I will be tested upon what I have learnt in these three semesters of preparation year. I was quite cocky before this as I had no exam to face during semester 1 and 2 (excluding MOCK exam which does not carry any point). Now I know how it feels like to face the biggest obstruction that stops you from heralding your wings into degree level. I must visualize what I want from now and then. Sometimes, when you try to convince and motivate yourself that you can do it, there is always a black shadow within you that says what if this happen and what if that happens; thus, it makes you reluctant to take the next steps.

I almost forget that I have an exam to face when I get myself preoccupied with activities that are not educational at all. There are times when I regret upon procrastination that I have done. Many times, I did say to myself that “I shouldn’t have done this”. But, there is nothing you can do about it other than watching the time flies away. To get matters right, I must convince myself that I can do the best in this coming final examination. The sceptical among us would quickly question what you can do to make it true. I would not reveal anything as I have my own way that may be differ from other people. But what I can promise is if I could put more effort into it, I could soar the best result I could get. That is why I need all of your support to wake me up from my perpetual dreams. I have to admit the fact that I am still in the mood of honeymoon. It takes me sometimes to realize that I am no longer a high school student, I am instead a college freshman – a step towards my dreams.

The reasons why I must do my best are many. If I were to list them out, I guess this post is not enough to cater all. But the whole point of “doing the best” lies upon three major reasons, firstly to achieve the target that I have set. Am I sounded ambitious? I pretty much am. For your information, in this coming examination, I set to get ...let me keep it alone. I hope this would be impossible, Amin. I am rational and realistic enough when I decided to set this. I weighed my target upon my performance in MOCK exam which more or less portraying my half ability. I was not worried to achieve in the first place until one day, I was realized by a lecturer who said that my said writing was not up to the standard or in easy word, it sucks the most! Imagine, how devastated I am when it strucked straight on my face. I wanted to cry, but I tried my best to hold back my tears. Yes, I did not cry. I try to look at this predicament in a positive way. I take this as a motivation to move on and keep on fighting. I admit that I did improve myself in order to be better. But I was saddened by the fact that I failed to nail an ace for this certain paper in the previous MOCK exam. Let bygone be bygone. Let us not reap the old scar. What I could do now is moving on with a brand new me; Optimistic, hard working, and proactive.  

The second thing that moves me to do my very best in exam is to make my parents and family proud of me. I know it sound clich├ęd, but it comes to my realisation that this is why I must do my very best. I am here because of them. I want to them to be happy and beaming with smile upon my success. They have invested a lot in me since. Their support is undeniable that I would never be able to repay them much. They never tired to give me moral support, financial support, and motivation to make sure I could study comfortably. So for that matter, I must study hard and do the best because this is not only my future but also my family future. I want to repay them with my excellence in studies; that is the only thing that I could do at the moment. I love them very much, and only God knows how much I care about them. They are my life and death. They live in every single strand of my nerves that push me to do my very best out of me. Their words of optimism is the song that played in the back of my mind to move on and “I shouldn’t let this slip through my finger!”

Obviously, I study hard because I want to secure a place in degree level of sophomore year. At the moment, I study TESL as my major and by right; I will be pursuing my degree in B.Ed TESL. Mind you, TESL programme is not as easy as ABC. English is just not our mother-tongue and it is getting hard from time to time. However, I must be strong enough because this TESL thing is all I ever wanted in my life (I guess). I choose to be a TESLian. I always think that I am good in language, but the truth is I am not. When your good is not good enough, it fears you the most. Nevertheless, I do not stop believing in my intuition that I could my best and be the best.

I guess I have written much about my fright over the examination. Wish me the best everybody!

Let's get party! Raise your glass everyone! :D

We may not be as good as the rest, but we did prove them that we are the best!

How I miss my time the kids at school. You guys rock, chillun!

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