It’s a jihad to witness some of my friends going home already. How I wish I could join them too. But nay, I have bought the ticket, and will depart tomorrow night. I could wait as long as I am done with the thing that I want to finish up which is revising the past semesters subjects. I’m half the way, I guess. Literature / English studies is the subject that I have not touched until this very moment. I’m currently hitting the keyboard to come out with this post. Again, I suspend my unfinished business. I should have done that month ago. However, I admit the fact that I’m not the kind of person who could remember all of the thing or most of the thing at once. I need a continuous revision.
I just follow what my lecturer said about English studies, “Dear students, literature is about what is happening around you and your life. Hence, you ostracise this subject, and revise the other subjects for that they may help you in answering literature.” I know what he meant here. His words epitomises the importance of having good grammar. Say, you have good points on your mind, but your points seem pointless because your grammar sucks. This happens to me either. I some times stuck for words or points. I simply lose track of what I’m doing and what I should do next. I must take note to ameliorate this predicament some day.
|Tear can heal a lonely heart of missing home. I experienced this when I was back then in form 4.|
Come to think about going home, I couldn’t help but to admit the fact that I, too, feel homesick. Are you not supposed to be matured by now, huh? Screw that anyway. I must say that I treat myself like a little kid. I must make myself feel special. The homesickness that I endure does not reach to an extent that I must go home no matter what. I know the rules that regard us all, I also bend the rules sometimes, but not to a point that I slack off from campus just because I want to go home. That is too childish, peeps! Come on, you should have savoured the campus life because you are going to miss this some day.
Distance, money and study are the reasons that falter my urge to go home. It is an obvious fact that I come from the other side of Malaysia and I study at another side of Malaysia. Imagine how far I am away from home. I have never asked to be here, the government sent me here. But thankful enough, this is quite a place to study. I must say that this make me missed my hometown every single day when I was in first semester. You must know the fact that I have never been in hostel back then during high school. For that matter, hostel life seems to be so cumbersome to manoeuvre in the first place. Plus point, with the condition of the place that I study at the moment, I guess you will know why I must say it makes thing worse. This has caused me not to pamper myself much as I want to train myself to cope up with the life that I have to undergo for the next four years from now.
|The best thing to do when you are away is to take a piece of paper, scribble with above words, and start to picture your family face in the back of your mind. What a relief!|
Always, there’s a strong tide of urge to go home, but to think of the money that I must spent, I can’t go home as frequent as I can. I come from a middle-class family or middle-income family. I just can afford to go home as much as I want but I choose not to. I must say that I have to fork out more than a hundred for the tickets, and you know what, with that sum of money I can purchase a pair of Lois jeans that I adore the most. I rather spend the weekend with my peeps than spending time on the bus alone. This is the time for me to socialize with my friends, to get to know them better. This the moment for me to do stupid things with my friends like staying up late at night watching movies, chatting till late night(we chat about almost everything!), playing ping pong, squash, badminton late at night or other stuffs that are unexpurgated, surely. I also take this chance to make a weekend gateaway some times when we have extra cash, savouring time with each other and letting off our steams. It is a heaven, I could say. If I don’t take this chance, I don’t really think there will be another time.
As I mention earlier in the post, I postpone my journey because of my study. I’m not a nerd kind of student. You can hardly see me carrying books wherever I go. They are so heavy mind you. That’s super not me, mind you. I spend most of the time facebooking, blogging, watching movies with my roommate through our elfin screen of our notebook (It is some times so annoying because the quality of the movies are low, well that better be for pirated version.). I concur the fact that I am kind of addicted to facebook. I can hardly be parted with facebook. Is there anyone from the web has a cure to this pandemic? I really need those to ensure that I focus on my study.
I have blabbered too much, I deem. So be it!
I must say that I really miss my parents and family, always. My prayers are always with them. They got my back, too.
I’m going back tomorrow, at last! See you in Terengganu.
|I can hear the lapping of the waves calling me to return home.|
p/s: It is true that home is where the heart is.