Just few hours away separate us from 2013. How fast times saunter by, huh? Ha-ha. Alhamdulillah…2012 has been a jolly good year for me. Well said, I’m done for another year.
2012? A year of never-ending joy and unadultered moments. A year of self-discovery. A year of tremendous emotional inertia. A year of pre-adulthood phase. A year of edifying oneself. And the list just goes on and on.
I have myriad plans circling in the back of my mind when I have my both legs early in the year. I want to do this. Wait, I want to do that. Hold on, I’m dying to do those things and so on. Some plans happen to be a raging success. Some are just not. Let’s just say my lucky star is not with me. Fret not, even if I failed to achieve them, I know there must be something good in store for me that He, the almighty, keeps it surreptitious from my conscience. In sha Allah…I really hope He still gives me the chance to taste the sweet and sour of 2013 so that I could do things that I failed to achieve back in 2012 all over again.
Anyway…let’s see what are the big events predominantly happening to me throughout the year of 2012.
1# 20 years old
Who is in the right mind doesn’t enamour the life of being a teenager? The exact moment when you have your youthful vigor pumping strenuously. The years when you have your hormones excreting uncontrollably. The time when you can have crushes here and there. The period when you experience your first love ever. How blissful those years are. But those were the days where anything you do is considered cute and acceptable, you do not have to face financial issue, you do not have to mess up your mind thinking what I should do to make sure I am on the right track, what if I start dating and bla…bla…bla.
Although It’s pretty much of a saddening moment when I finally have to kiss goodbye to 19 age when the clock hits 12 a.m. way back in the mid of March, I am glad I finally make this far. By that I mean I have lived on this earth for 20 years, borrowing the air from Him to breathe, health from Him to be able to carry out duties to Him and mind from Him to think what is good and what is wrong. At last, age matures me, but I’m not nearly as smart and matured as I think I am. Young, nimble and spry still. LOL
About my current status…I have long been single, swore never again to go coupling because I come to realize that it’s not the right way to find the right other half. Seriously, I am in no mood to have a serious relationship. The relationship that I have now with my studies (what a joke!) is already pretty cumbersome to be handled, what more of taking care a girl. Would that not mean a total eclipse of the sun? Absolutely.
So please do not be bothered to ask me on date or getting-know-each-other-better. I am apathetic to those things. I just want to pray and waiting for my Cinderella to drop her glass shoes which is just another perpetuating dreaming cloud (stop dreaming!). But that does not mean we can’t be friends. I love making bonds, especially friendship. It widens your cliques and social circle. However, talking about hitting this number of 20 makes feel a bit older when everyone as of my age starts walking down the aisle. The best solution is to tell myself it is just not your turn yet…I just have lots of things to achieve before settling down for good.
2# A first year student of BEd TESL
|Teach till you drop|
For god sake, I doubt myself when I first enter the preparatory program way back in 2010. I actually struggle to adjust myself to the so-called new environment of a teacher trainee at a teacher training college from the atmosphere that I have used to at UiTM Kuantan where they have these fantabulous facilities for students where I enroll myself in TESL foundation program. Among the negativities that I have in me are will I be able to stay until the end? Why must I be at this godforsaken place (no judgment)? What is wrong with the system? Why people dislike us (teslian)? And the questions keep mounting up itself.
Yet…here I am writing this as a coming second year student of BEd TESL. How elated I am when I know I pass the final exam of foundation years which holds the key to the lock of degree-years gate. Although my first year of degree starts off pretty well that I really think there is nothing could stop my way…little did I know thing turns out to be such a terrible catastrophe last semester and I personally feel the tremor. Though I didn’t ever hope for it to happen, it just happens and I accept it wholeheartedly. There must be a reason, right? You know, people who want to bring you down never take a day off to pull you downward the spiral. What a life! Screw them all…haven’t you heard I already did. And now great, I have to double or maybe triple my effort to make it up to the grade that I lose which teaches me something, not to take things for granted.
It is just so hard not to fall apart whenever I try recounting the moments we have shared throughout the journey. The moments we have had are real, authentic and unadultered joy. We laugh. We joke. We smile. Ecstatic. It’s the first time ever I travel with my own money that I save up from the beginning of semester, with my own accord, with just friends (no mums and dads). I just have no idea when and where the idea of travelling first pops out. But it’s indeed splendid. You know the undecipherable feeling when you finally get what you always want, you feel like doing several backflips to release this fleeting feeling or punching your fist into the air just because you know you finally did it! We have witnessed to each other, undertaking countless ups and downs, twists and turns just to make sure we could make it till the very end. (Kota Kinabalu, 2012)
To recapitulate…I have no exact resolutions for the coming year of 2013. I just hope 2013 will be a fantastic year for me to improve myself, a year of so full of blessing and happiness. Let’s see what 2013 has to offer for me. May you have a wonderful life ahead too!