HIKMAH

Alhamdulillah.

All praises to be upon him.

I manage to sail by last semester without any major hiccup or stormy seas. Let me just keep it to myself how much I score yet just enough to let me savor and secure next semester.

I am contented when in fact this semester grade drops so badly. Drop myself out from the top students list is so not okay – the legacy that I work so hard to retain. What a colossal shame! For once, a total loser and bimbo I feel, hoisting a white flag.

Being me, as resentment rests heavily in my chest, I struggle to navigate myself through this shudder inducing reality. However such an ungrateful of me if I put what he has bellowed upon me in vain.

As much as I want to frown upon this losing, I must remember how many of my friends who are unlucky enough to get by last semester. I must realize that He still loves me for that He lets me passed this semester. The biggest lesson of a lifetime have I learnt – being at the bottom.

Couldn't be any true. :')

How wonderful God’s plan is. If this doesn’t happen, I would not stand a chance to feel the ambience of being at the bottom. I may have been too long gasping the air at mountain top, now is time to go down deep into the bottom of the sea to see what it has to offer. I cannot always get to win. I also need to learn how to lose to stay balance. Just so great I get to taste the best of both worlds.

Much to my surprise, it makes me even stronger than I have ever thought. Who is in the right mind would not be sad. I too feel ashamed. To not let my emotions overwhelm my body which could result in deleterious event of crying, I gather up enough courage to etch a smile on my lips and make some silly jokes to say that I’m doing great and fine – that’s how I roll. I must be strong and stayed golden for everyone.

Teaching me to swallow my own pride is the most valuable lesson I attain. I may have been too complacent all this while – simply take things for granted without having the conscience that it isn't immortal. Now I learn my lesson and it is time to get things right. Looks like someone is on the downward spiral. Telling myself to stay calm seems to be difficult. However, I am just positive that you now have got work all out to be there once again and it boosts my spirit.

Fall once doesn't mean losing forever. Just as long as you know the exit strategy and have the gut to climb up the stairs again, and embark on a new journey. May He make me strong and patient to endure this test. 

Oh Allah...I thank you.

Time to get over it and move on.