Pre-departure (as if...)

Finally, I could give myself a breather after a battle with assignments that seem to have no end. I guessed I could give myself a pat on my back for that I managed to finish all of the assignments on time. That was the coolest thing I had ever done. Okay, I exaggerate too much. I just could not let a second slip through my finger as I was in the pursuit of making sure I would have an immense thrill of holiday at home. Free from the assignments was the most superb thing had ever happened in a student’s life, I reckon or it was only me who felt so. Speaking of holiday, the month of Ramadhan almost comes to its end and the Eid spirit is in the air. Can you feel it? I hope so.

So, as of this year Eid, unlike last year, we will only have a week break which is very short as far as I can comprehend. I guess I would not have enough time to collect “duit raya” this time. Let’s just forget about the money, you are big enough to get one. But I still want it! Whatever...Back to the main crux, I will go home tomorrow by bus. This is the moment that I have been waiting for so long. Pictures of home could not stop playing in the back of my mind. It feels so great to break away sometimes from the works that I have. Why do I consider my study as a work? Let’s me illustrate you how, simply because I have a mountain of assignments to be done in a short time constraint which literally makes me haywire and turn-upside-down sometimes. Enough rambling, the bus will be at night. I have no other option as there is only night bus to Terengganu. But I love night bus as I will have more sleep than staying awake which I abhor the most when you have nothing to do none other than enjoying the view from the window. Though some of my friend has gone home already, I just do not really upset or jealous as I am going home too, am not I?

I guess I have left my hometown for quite some times that it makes me excited to go home. I can sense the smell of my hometown at the moment, again I aggrandize too much. But it really does! I could not compose myself from thinking of going home. I just miss my family, my house, my hometown darn much! I just could not wait to see my family and devour my mum’s cooks, things that I leave behind while I am here furthering my studies. It feels awesome sometimes to stay away from home as I learn to appreciate what I leave behind to fulfil my dream. So, tell the whole Besut that I am coming home!

There's no other place I rather be none other than home. This is my hometown, beautiful, don't you think so?

Uneasy

I could not be bothered with what was happening around me whether the world was turning upside down or people around me who may be had turned to zombies. 

I was like in my own world that I did not know what would happen next. 

A world there was only me. 

I was the king, the ruler and it was my kingdom. 

The world that no one seemed to understand what I was doing, no one seemed to comprehend what I was trying to say, and no one seemed to act they way I acted. 

There was only me could decipher those things that had taken its toll on me.

Sometimes, I did question myself why must I undergo this so called perpetual “dream”? I just did not like it. You know, when you were in this kind of situation, everything seemed to go wrong. 

You had a fight with your friend. 

You confused with yourself which was utterly not good for us that we may have split of identity or lost of identity. 

You felt uneasy with your surrounding. 

This was so uneasy for me. 

I wished I could get out from this “dream” soon. 

But I just could not find the window to jump out. 

If only this was just for temporary, I prayed it would end as soon as possible. 

It was really intimidating. 

But I would never forget this “dream” for that by right, it made me matured to look at the world around me.

Let me be free from your chain.

 I felt sorry and guilty for breaking and hurting anyone's feeling these days. I just could not control my derogatory emotional inertia. I did not wish for its to happen, yet it happened too. No hard feelings.

What do you want to be?

The normal thing occurs to us since we are little kids.
Back in primary school, when people asked me what my ambition was, I would say, without second thought, a doctor or an engineer.
Those jobs were the only works that existed in my dictionary.
I know none of other jobs.
As we grow up, the ambition was getting clear.
Say, during high school, when people asked me what I want to be, I would say, again, I want to be a doctor.
Because of my fondness towards science, I guess it affected my dream.
From there, my ambition started to change from time to time according to my liking.
However, as I was in the last year of my high school, I reckon I was matured a little bit in making decision.
My ambition was getting vivid that I can foresee what I wanted to be.

So here I am today, a future teacher in the making.
But before that, it was not easy part for me to decide to be here.
the road was bumpy and full of rage.
I guess no one would ever want to be in my shoe.
But those were the experiences that made me up today.
Sometimes, it was so difficult to answer what you want to be.
Somehow, one should never be asked what they wanted to be and what they wanted to do in their life.
Indeed, we can say whatever we wanted but then there came a time when we knew what we really wanted in our life.
Life was about finding yourself not creating yourself, anyway.
As we moved along the course of life, we would never get away from doing mistakes.
Mistakes made us strong and you know, life was about doing mistakes and correcting them.
It made us realised what we should do and should never do.
It showed us what was wrong and right.
And we did learn something then that was about never afraid to make mistakes for you own sake.

In life, we should sometimes get on the wrong train and choose the road not taken.
Of course, got stucked somewhere.
But to say positively, these are the ways to gain experience-the best teacher ever.
Experience could not be bought.
We needed to search for them. Try something new and be different are the steps to gain experience.
Then we would know how sweet and bitter it is.
Nevertheless, an experience was never a waste.
Also, to know what we really wanted to be, we need to be in other shoes.
Atticus in To Kill A mocking Bird said,"You never really knew a person until you stood in his shoes and walked around in them."
You have to know what the people felt and what the people do and how they are before making judgement.
We, human, are never good at judgmental.You may know who they are but you would never know what they had gone true.
There must be reasons why they were the way they were.

Upon saying this, back to the main clincher, never restrict yourself about what you want to be.
Open your mind and look around you.
The world is just big enough for you to discover. Never afraid to step forward and ahead.
Explore and venture every nook and corner of the world.
It is reachable. Appreciate yourself and world around you. 
Most importantly, just be who you are and what you want to be.

Short Entry

As the title entitles itself, this would be a very short post from me, a quickie update to be told, I hope. I have not been heard for quite some times. I admit a fact that I abandon my blog these days. I have my hands full of so many things that I could hardly spare some time to hit the keyboard. Ranging from assignments, the list goes on. If I am to list them out, I guess this post would not be enough. What a lame excuse anyway! 

Yeah, it is undeniable truth that time passes very fast. As if yesterday was the first day we fast, and today we find ourselves have been fasting for twenty days. Twenty days have been given to us to savor this Ramadhan. It approaches its end. Let's fire up our spirit to make this Ramadhan is the best than the past, Let's pray for Him to make us stand still on the ground and our faith stays unchanged.

Have a lovely weekend!

Different

Things change, and so I am. But what makes a change different is a change either to be good or to be bad. And I am dying to be good. Not that I am so darn bad before (I have never committed any violence), I come to realisation that people change to suit with the environment and atmosphere that they are in. Upon saying this, does this change make us be hypocrite? It's all depend on our intention for change. But just so you know, changes are good things if you change from bad to good. At least, we do see some transformation and improvement in one's life.

Why are waiting for the change to take its toll in your life? Dare to make a change.

There will be a point in life like a turning point where everyone starts to recall their past, look ahead for their future and gear up a change. At this moment, everyone sighs over ignorance that they have made and prides over their achievement. Most important,  to start a change is to make testimonials over every actions that we have taken. 

  

A change does not take place in one night and so Rome was not built in one night, I reckon. It takes a change to make a change. Be sure that even if there is no one wants to support your decision for a change, there is always HIM to guide you and support you from all angles of life.

*If I don't chase after what I want, definitely, I will never get it. If I don't change for what I want to be, I will never make it to the top where my dreams lie.

Won't Stop (One Republic)

"Won't Stop"

[Verse 1]
Uh ohh
Now i stared at you
From across the room
Until both my eyes were faded
I was in a rush
I was out of luck
Now I'm so glad that I waited
Well you were almost there
Almost mine...yeah
They say love ain't fair
But I'm doing fine...

[Chorus]
Cause i swear it’s you
I swear it’s you
I swear it’s you that I’ve waited for
I swear it’s you
I swear it’s you
I swear it’s you that my heart beats for
And it isn’t gonna stop
No it just won’t stop
Uh oh oh
Yeah

[Verse 2]
Now you were fine by night
But when the morning light comes
Comfortable as rain on Sunday
And I’m a lucky soul
That holds your hand so tight
Hope you hear this one day
Don’t fool yourself
This is my truth

[Chorus]
I swear it’s you
I swear it’s you
I swear it’s you that i waited for
I swear it’s you
I swear it’s you
I swear it’s you that my heart beats for
And it ain’t gonna stop
It just won’t stop

[Interlude]
You take this hand
You take this heart
Steal my bones
From 1000 miles apart
Feels so cold
Felt just like its ten shades of winter
And i need the sun
Ohh yeahh
Oh oh no no yeah yeah

[Chorus]
And i swear it’s you
I swear you
I swear it's you that it waited for
I swear it’s you
I swear its
I swear it’s you that my heart beats for
I swear it’s you
I swear it’s you
I swear it’s you that I’ve waited for
I swear it's you
I swear it's you
I swear it’s you that my heart beats for
And it ain’t gonna stop
It just won’t stop
Heyy yeahh
It just won’t stop
No no no no woahh yeah
I swear it’s you
I swear it’s you
Ohh yeah

*sometimes, you feel like giving up and there are times when you feel like there's no justice for you. Whatever it is, you just can't stop fighting and moving on. Every effort will be paid off even if it takes time to see the outcome. Just remember- if so you stop fighting, you are closing a window of your own opportunity.

SOMEone

You say that I'm happier

Stronger

Faster

When I'm with you 

By your side...

The thing is, I have scrapped my times with countless assignments these days that they never have ending. I aggrandize too much, I admit. This is a very crucial time for me as I am in the pursuit of chasing time, making sure that I finish all the works on time, though the fact that I procrastinate it too much. Oh boy...cannot believe that I have to say, but I have to...I need SOMEONE at the moment who can push me to the limit and see all the possibilities that lie ahead. Motivating words are the jargon that I am yearning to hear. Hope that it would be a great day tomorrow!

Random Thought

In time of crisis, faith can sustain us. As for me, my faith in human nature, reawakened by the kindness of a stranger, has helped ease my journey of self-discovery and self-reflection. Sometimes, one's little act of kindness could give us a big slam and change in our life, don't you think so?

A loss in vain

A loss is a loss. No loss can be greater, or smaller, than another. All I lose is the loss of being my own-self, being myself, doing what I want to do, being what I want to be, and doing what I can do. 

I'm sorry. Sorry that I have failed to live up to your expectations. Sorry that despite your efforts in moulding me and scolding me and guiding me and deriding me, the projection of your energies and hardworks have been in vain. Sorry that I have yet to attain what you seek of me.

I won't pretend to be the dream you sought when you think of me in an act of kindness. I am not a personification of perfection, I admit the fact that I am perfectly imperfect - a bloke who is so full of flaws. I am not a divine creation. I am not Galatea. And you are not Pygmalion.

I am not a building you can tear down and rebuild from scratch. I am not an immaculate statue given life. I am here: I have been born and I have been made this way - I am who I am. Now it is time for me to make myself.

I may be scratched and scarred, knocked down and showed up, played out and pushed in. I may thrive or fail. I may find an easy path. Or learn the hard way. I may choose the road not taken by anybody.

I will never be good, I guess.

I came forth with flaws. I am wanderer finding my way. I am a dreamer finding my dream. I am flawed despite your efforts. I am a work in progress, and I do not know when the work will be done. Perhaps it never will.  Even if dreams can take time to come true. And sometimes they never do.

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

Ramadhan is in the air!

As if yesterday we were celebrating new year, I admitted it. Time moved too fast. And tomorrow, we will face the month of Ramadhan. Praised to Him that He still gives us the life and chance to savour this coming Ramadhan. Let's mount up our Ibadah and good deeds, purify our hearts, and strengthen our faith and niat! Let our feet stay strong and firm on the ground, and our faith and belief stays unchanged. 

p/s: istiqamah..will I be..right?

*Random Thought

If or when you decide to do something important, you will know that you did so with great care, much thought and respect.

Failure is a part of learning process, which then you will improve yurself.

The PastPresentFuture

It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth.  
Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of living and loving. The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons.

Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want. Our mistakes? Necessary. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too. Each step of the way, we learned. 

We went through exactly the experiences we need to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed. Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth.

Never fall on the past, get a strong grip on the present and cherish it as it is a present for you, most important, look forward for your future.

Today, Allah, help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today.*Give thanks to Allah*


Peace out! Have a lovely weekend...

Life as we know

Life is so full of surprises, and unexpectedness, isn't it? 

We never know what is coming next. And if you know it, things would be better and great, I guess.

Even if we do not know what lies ahead, we must expect the unexpected in our life and always be positive.

There are reasons why things are the way the are, aren't they? That is why we should never whine and sigh of over difficulties and adversities that come upon us. They are not ephemeral, and soon here comes the sunny and bright side of them. Be thankful with what you have had. Never let them slip through your fingers. 

Peace out!

Let's enjoy this comic strip...What a surprise! Would you like to have this kind of surprise? :D

Incomprehensible

You know, when you have to let out something out of your chest, you feel like wanted to have someone in front of you whom you can talk to hours on end, and someone who can give you respond and direction whenever you lose your faith, your confident, your will, your dreams, your spirit, and most important your zest of life which are the things that keep you fighting in this life. 

How I wish I can fly like the bird in the sky...and feel the air brush your face...and enjoice the life without has to worry about other thing...Oh boy, you have to keep on fighting Ash!

Peace out!

*Ranting

Many times, how I wish if there is a PAUSE button in my life, I wish I could pause only the happy moments when I can enjoy myself to the fullest. 

The moment when only me with my world within, and no intervention of others. How peaceful!

Also, I wish I could have a remote control of life that sets REWIND button which means I can return to my old times to fix the past. And if that is possible, my life would be greater than NOW. 

You, you and you! Please walk away from my life!

By correcting and fixing and repairing what is good and wrong in the past, I reckon I would come out with a big genuine smile that shine others' life too.

But, who'll give me a power to fix the past? IMPOSSIBLE. I should have admitted the fact that I could not turn the clock..

I guess I must live with the idea that to not be regretful in the future, I must not follow or do thing that your heart says it's wrong.

Hatred*

Maybe it is a sign that I grown up a lot, I guess. But, the thing is, I seem not to be able to control this feeling. I should have said that I am grateful to be installed with this kind of emotion at the first place, rather than I hate it when it gets worst and wild to manage. All this while, all I do is to keep it inside, yet I can't stand with it anymore. I could not be bothered of letting it out. Lest I may disgrace anybody, I think I should keep my long face for quite some times, so that people would know the existence of hatred feeling within me. Ah!

I HATE IT!

Oh Allah, please show me the way. Oh Allah, let my feet stand firm and strong on the ground and my faith stay unchanged...Amin.

Do not bother to ask me why and what...Chugelle! Hate it when you can't find the necessity to like it!

Gua Kelam Weekend Retreat.

We are the rempits, come and dare to challenge us!

Camewhoring at the entrance.

It was chilling cold that I had to heat me up by sitting on a piece of wood.

I hope I haven't late to tell the world that I have been to Gua Kelam during last weekend that it was such on a short notice that we decided to release our steam from the tons of work that we had. On that day, the weather was at the finest state of it, I guess as the sun was there to shine up the day and yeah, there's no sign of it's going to rain soon. What a good weather to go somewhere that you can relax while enjoying yourself to the fullest!

Actually, I was not alone as I went there with my best friends, Mr.Hazwan and etc. We went there by motorbikes and imagined, an hour ride from Kangar to Kaki Bukit, would that not mean half of your body was paralyzed that you couldn't feel your backbone was actually at its straight position? How painful it was! Yes, it was. The reason we chose Gua Kelam were that just because it was free (noted:the most important factor), and free from the hustle and bustle of the city that it lived in its own world of serenity and beauty of the world. So much exaggeration, I admit it. I couldn't say more, we had immense thrill of fun that we did not know the meaning of tiredness and etc. We just loved the place that was still untouchable and pristine. Subhanallah, how beautiful Gua Kelam was, I just jaw-dropped seeing the beauty that god gave to us.

Forgot to say that, on our way home, we dropped by the Timah Tasoh Lake. Subhanallah, again We were mesmerized by the beauty that is beyond compared!

Enough rambling, let the pictures narrate the whole story!

Ain't deserved to call yourself a friend.

First thing first, I'm not by any means addressing this to anybody. Just another random thought from me.

If you cannot accept what your friend are saying, 

what are you friend for? 

What for you befriend with him/her?

What type of friend are you?

 peace out!

"C" mode is activated.

Yoohoo...times move so fast like a speeding bullet, I concede it. Without realising it, I have been here for a month and for a month also I have been in semester three. I haven't done much to say in the first place. There are so many things to buck up with as I will be seating for my final exam this semester before I embark on my step into degree level next year. Insyallah. Prior to my studies, well said, I have two assignments in my hands now that they are due next month. Hope that I can finish them all within this week. Guess have to burn the midnight oil,but eventually I just have the typical fluorescent lamp in my room to light the space whenever it gets dark. Not so funny, I admit it. I am not a comedian to say the least. :/

Weekend in campus is dull and boredom fills the air like you are stranded on a dilapidated and exile island that has no inhabitants at all. Okay, I aggrandize it too much. It is not so monotonous but what is more you can expect to do in campus, primarily in Perth-lis. Nothing, I reckon. My roommate are out of town this weekend for he joins a camp in the neighborhood state. I do nothing that I go to have a cut of my hair yesterday. I just love my new hair cut, I guess. But yeah, I cannot find any verdict to why I should hate my new hair cut. And starting this weekend, I can sense the semblance of Ramadhan in the air that is just around the corner. Yippee...I am so elated and delighted that whenever Ramadhan comes, it brings along  Hari Raya.

There's only one god, and he is Allah.

Enough talking, I ramble too much, I think ,but nothing useful comes out from my mouth. Poor me.

Before I end here, since tonight is Nisfu Sya'ban...let's make a prayer for Allah to apologize all of our mistakes and may he grant upon us his blessing. Amin. Ya Allah, let our feet stand firm and strong on the ground and our hearts stay unchanged. Amin.

Full-time.

If ALLAH is all you have.

 

I'm proud to be muslim...and no one ever can deny and defy me as a muslim. Oh Allah..the most gracious and merciful!

 

You have ALL u need.