Note-to-self

Everyone is looking for love, wealth, happiness, fame, mates and the list goes on and on like there would be no definite end to it. But the blessed ones are so preoccupied doing the opposite...searching for His blessing, begging for His mercy and forgiveness, asking for enlightenment and guidance, uplifting ones' ibadah, preparing oneself for akhirat and death...only then to come to the realization that everything around is insignificant if it did not lead to His path, and only to have sheer and ultimate happiness rolled in. 

Ya Allah...guide our way...ease our way...Aminn

Pray

Tempting

Worldly things are tempting, titillating...anchoring us down the darkest valley of lies and deceit. We drown...we suffocate...we asphyxiate to death. Nothing there makes us feel any better or close to Him. Everything is nothing but mere lies...faked by human for fools. But why do we keep tripping and tumbling? Strangled and struggle to find the escape path. Why are we too snob to acknowledge that lies lie right before our eyes and let them blur and blind our vision? Why are we so complacent with the things we have when in fact not a single soul and thing will last forever? Why are we so vulnerable to the worldly threats that we let them evade our souls...and indoctrinate our minds...thus drag us away from Him? Why do we feel so comfortable doing sins and still be so proud to walk on this earth made by Him? What does it take to really get over worldly temptations so that whatever we do is what He asks us to do? Think. Reflect.

Love

"Everyone has different ways to love. Just because it isn't what you want and expect, doesn't mean they don't really love you."

So true

Quickie

Silver lining. 

As Salam

Alhamdulillah…could never be thankful enough…I survive and certainly am. Killing 4 papers in 3 days, back to back…does sound so cumbersome to be maneuvered…seem legit…and a lot of work, huh? Certainly is. What's done is done. Not that I expect any mental breakdown or brain freeze in the past few days because I really need my brain at its best. Shoot...this week couldn’t be anymore hectic. I have had enough drama, not to mention there are times when sudden emotional lapse and inertia swing by to think of the things I could have done right in the examination…drain my motivation. Brain strenuously works to an extreme. And now is the time to put it at rest for a few moments. The exam is not better nor worse...just hope and pray for the best. This is yet not an end. I can’t possibly wait for the last paper on the next Monday, Moral Education and then…heading home! Holiday mode turns on right after…it seems to be that the mood comes early this semester or am I just being the one and only person who is already in the kind of mood? *wondering

All the very best. 

Jzkk

1

As Salam

I don't think any of us has to wait a particular day to make you feel special about yourself...to make you feel loved...to make you feel appreciated...to thank you for everything you have done until now...to pray to Allah that you are always in good health and far from any harm...to tell you how much we love you and no one else has to see it as long as we have each other. There is a strong intangible bond that binds us together no matter what. Every day is your day. Without you...life is incomplete. You're the teacher of our lifetime. You teach us right from wrong and we are going to be strong.

You're the one for me after Allah s.w.t

XOXO

Jzkk

Chill

As Salam

Drowning in the sea of notes and books for weeks. They are all over the places. I am in a mess and almost asphyxiated to death (pun intended). Brain freezes to the extent it swallows more than it can chew. Too much to be revised, yet too little time to study or should I put it in this way that I procrastinate a lot. Regretting all the wasted time spending on useless things during the whole semester when in fact I should get my study on. Been having and savoring much leeway time all this while and now a surge of guilt hits me and not to mention, stress runs through my veins strenuously. Typical student.

Enough lamenting. Doesn't take me anywhere if I keep sighing and whining. Couldn't help it but admit that...A moment of realization only comes at the very last minute of time. Yet it's better late than never. There is always a shine of hope in every bad ordeal. Keep trying, it is. Double the effort and set the right intention, "Belajar kerana Allah s.w.t". In sha Allah...all the hardwork will be paid off one fine day. It's not a waste. Be sure that we only get whet we give. Chill. 

Yezza!

Wishing all of my batchmates...all the very best, beat the rest. Man Jadda Wajada. Keep on fighting until the last drop of blood, tears and sweat. This is our war and we were born to do this thing.   

Jzkk

Full Bloom

SubhanAllah

Just 2 curious kiddos

The tree is at his best at this time of the year. Astonished at how a tree can make a huge difference to the landscape it beholds that used to be so dull and sombre. Nothing feels better than to be served with such a magnificent view bellowed upon us by Allah s.w.t every time I walk out of my residence hall to anywhere in the campus...and watching its petals slowly dropping down onto the ground rekindles a surge of serenity and calmness to the heart and mind. Embracing its beauty before the season is gone for good...and we are yet to know whether we would still stand a chance to see its full bloom again the next time around. The future is still in uncertainty so appreciate the present day (say Alhamdulillah) before it becomes a past, because past is past and no one can turn around the clock. No one. 

Akhi

Courtesy of Tumblr

As Salam

There have been many people walking past in my life...and some could have easily been seen and traced...especially those who make their presence felt...those who leave their footprint all through the trail...those who break me into pieces...and those who take me out of the dark and bring me to the light. And  they are whom I called friends.

And there are these people who really make their appearance impacted my whole life the most and redefines my trueself. Alhamdulillah...I could never thank You enough for bringing those precious gift of friends into my life for that they help me awake from a long dream...help me to jerk back into reality...show me what life is all about, submitting oneself to You. When my life is nothing but an endless joke and narcissism, they rescue when I am downward the spiral of shame where nothing there makes me feel any better...witness and scaffold me recollecting scattered pieces of faith to rebuild a solid foundation upon the one and only religion I believe in, Islam.

Ya Allah...shower upon them (all of my friends, wherever you are) your grace, blessing and all the happiness in this world and hereafter. May you grant them Jannah for their good deeds and kindness. Aminn. Ukhwah Fillah Abadan Abada

Jzkk

Queen of My Heart

Every time I go home for a break or holiday...the first thing I will do is to kiss her hands, her booth cheeks, and her forehead, and the grand finale is to hug her tight. In a second...it washes away all the worries and anxieties I have. What a bliss! And today is the special day of my first lady. The queen of my heart, my mum.

I know since I left home for college, we rarely talk like we used to and I regret it. Even though we are miles away from each other...i'll always make sure that you and dad are always in my prayer forever. You own my heart beside Allah s.w.t 

Nothing much to say because words can't really describe how much grateful I am to have such a great mum like you. You have done such a good job all these years. You did well in growing us up and I can never thank you enough. Love you till bits. 

May Allah bellow upon you good health, many more grandchildren, sustenance and wonderful life ahead. Aminn. :'D

My Mum

My pillar of strength

My beacon of hope

My superwoman

My forever teacher

My motivator

My bestfriend

My girlfriend

My gossip partner

My shopping partner

Superfluous to say

You're my everything

My forever love

#all.the.best.in.the.quest.of.finding.the.right.girl.for.me :D

Road

A bumpy road can lead to a spectacular beach. The going may just get tough, challenging even. Yet the tougher the journey is, the better you are, and the sweeter the ending is. No one gets to a destination by playing safe because this is life and life is so full of obstructions.

The road not taken.

As long as you believe in yourself and Allah as your guide...you were born to do this thing and kill it. 

Jzkk

Not Knowing

Sometimes curiosity kills the cat.

Not knowing isn’t a problem. Not asking is. Why we no ask when we have doubts in almost everything?

Fear that all eyes are onto you like you are piercing something not on your face? Screw them all. Fear that everyone would label you stupid that you rather settle being nothing and sitting there quietly in a corner…keep the questions to yourself…keep them lingering and mingling in the back of your mind…let them remain unanswered and unsolved…gain nothing but piling up doubts after another like setting up Jenga. Worst is staying stuck forever. Come on...one has got to learn to move from that fear and stereotype. When you asked, be it simple or difficult question, you are actually helping those who don’t have the gut to face their limitation. Your action is a good deed, in fact. Don’t you want to get rewards (pahala) in the easiest way forever? The wind of change starts with you. Think about it…deep in thought.

Random

I almost skate by the month of April barely writing a post. Disappearance from the blogsphere is an option to iron out few things that waltz in my life. And now I am back in harness and ready to shower and crowd this blog of mine with my eccentric train of thoughts, love, and jokes that no one understands better than me.

Yeah…be warned that I blog crap sometimes. But it is the nonsensical things that make me remember what is important and what is worth fighting for. And just think…there will be times when you are grateful for every adversity and stillness happening to you because it makes you stronger than you ever thought you were. Never dwell, fight back. 

yup.

A Wonderful Evening

;D

Again, more and more surprises. I am totally surprised until I have no idea how to react anymore. Alhamdulillah...with the presents, layered cakes from Sarawak and everything...my buddies here are so sweet. If I succumbed diabetes, I would have been hospitalized in the first place due to escalating sugar level. LOL. Whatever it is, thanks guys! I owe all of you so much. You guys have always had a place in my heart no matter how microscopic it is. :D

Dear brothers, Uhibbukifillah! 

Surprising Sunday

As salam

It was almost fajr when I arrived at my room this morning. Put my things away, 7 hours journey killed my beauty sleep and I simply blamed the seat for ruining my comfort, and I was in dire need of taking one now. Tuck myself into the bed when I saw something on my study table. My roommate was in the dreamworld at the other side of the room. I slowly gathered some energy to go and check it out. And there it was...beautifully concealed. A birthday present from my loveliest roommate. Boy...my birthday had long gone, yet he never failed to produce a present then. Isn't he romantic? He is indeed...hahaha... Joy fills my heart and I'm so grateful for having a friend and a roommate like him. Very supportive and friendly since. At times, we can be serious. At the same time, we can be crazy too. That's just who we are. Thanks Alau! 

:D

It needs not to be something pricey and branded things to make my day and cheer me up for the rest of the day. Sometimes having a good book in my hands can be the glorious moment in my life unmatched with any other things on this earth including a cake. 

Jzkk

Buddies Bonding

As Salam

My college friends are here last few days. There are four of them whom I know them all too well since we study at the same college, stay at the same residence hall and apparently head to the same direction, future teachers, in sha Allah. They are here for 2 nights and it has solely been my duty to take them on a tour around Besut to get wasted, of course, in a good way.

Kids once a while. Cherish always. :D

For 2 consecutive days, we have been laughing like there is no tomorrow. We have been smiling like there is no sadness in this world. We have been poking and joking at each other like there is no one around. The world seems to just spin around us and it gets better since. We are the happiest lads on earth soon to be young adults. Savour the time together while we can because another 2 years can saunter by within a snap. 

Ukhwah Fillah Abadan Abada

Jzkk

 

1.15 and it's over

As Salam

The bell rings, indicating the school is over for the day. Kids were thrown in seven heaven as school holidays will start tomorrow. Let alone the kids indulging themselves in the merriment of celebrating the coming of school break. I’m not going to kill the joy as I really know how it feels like when holiday drops by because I was them before.

I know exactly at that moment that I’m done for another School-based experience. Knowing the fact that the very second I step out of the school gate, I will no longer have myself returned to the chores that I have been doing for a week and to the meeting room that we were put throughout the week– replacing teachers, microteaching, invigilating examination, arranging exam paper, rush here and there meeting teachers just to get their signatures. Gah, i'm so going to miss the moments dearly, really. The experience itself is worth doing though the workload is unbearable and consumes my free time most of the time. See yourself, life as a teacher couldn’t be anymore tedious folks!

My plate is full and I have my hands at almost everything this whole week. But I’m glad that I manage to endure them all till the very last school bell of this week. I did it! I have never really understood the word teaching until this week and this whole school-attachment thing has opened any new chapter in my life and rekindled the teaching soul within. Yet, I finally feel zing of being a teacher and it feels so dear to me. A busy bee, indeed. Personally, this is the best school-attachment yet. Alhamdulillah   

What is memorable on the last day is that never in my wildest dream have I thought that a student would shed tears when she gets to know that we are no longer here when school commences after the holiday. I almost burst into tears but my manly manliness manages to hold back the sober. It touches me in the pit of my stomach, in the crown of head, and most prominently in the corner of my heart that this student is coming from the class that I have been yelling at especially when their behaviour infuriates and irks me. But they touch the part of mine that cares the most, my heart. It melts like melting butter on hot warm toast. Thanks kiddos for the memories. Obviously, people come and go, but memories made remain forever. 

Whoever says teaching is easy, they are seriously disturbed.

Say cheese! 3 Delima

Yeah...Azri is back home. Spring Holiday, she says. Meeting her for the last time before she returns to Hiroshima, Japan this coming weekend. Safe journey gal! Stay golden yeah.

Jzkk

Coming of Age

As Salam

Wake up in the morning, as usual. But I know this date is very special for that on this very date, I was born and able to see this world. Get myself ready and drive myself away to school. Kids are patiently waiting for me in the class. I start teaching and things deem to be so normal, nothing unusual or extraordinary. It seems to be that no one knows today is the day. Great, I'm glad because I always want it to be that way, surreptitious, incognito, anonymous to almost everyone and unnoticeable.

Just another day and another year. A day that I spend most of it thanking Him for giving me this life and the chance to have such lovely people around me. Not that I'm expecting anything like a string-quartet, confetti, fireworks, or drum roll on this special day, I actually abhor to remind myself that I am now a year older. Birthday freaks me out...it gets me to think of ageing, wrinkles and so many things. But nay, no one can avoid getting old because it's rite of passage. When the time has come, no one can run away.

Whatever it is, Alhamdulillah is all I can say for being given another year to edify and improve myself, there are abundance of sins needed to be cleansed. Many thanks go to my dearest parents, Ma and Abah for that without them I am not where I am right now, Ma used to be pain in so much pain between life and death just to conceive me and Abah works so hard until now just to provide me and the rest of us comfort, shelter and security. Their unceasing love is something that I can hold on to for the rest of my life. Parents show us right from wrong, and we are going to be strong. Mum and Dad, I owe you both so much.

Praise to be upon Him for the best gift ever that is to be born as a Muslim and I need to take a good care of it because this heart and soul of mine are so fragile and weak, vulnerable to any threats and defenseless. To those who blow me wishes, dua and what not...thank heaps and if only I can duplicate myself, I would have done it in the first place to go to each and everyone of you to personally thank and wish you the very best of luck. I am looking very most forward what 21 number has to offer for me, getting married maybe? (giddy mood. LOL), may it be good and blessed, Aminn.

As the coming of age, I hope my presence would benefit other people around me because life is meaningless and pointless if we do not share what we have, what we know with other people. The knowledge we know may not mount up by itself, remember that.

This lad is no longer a lad, he's now an adult. Treat him the way it is supposed to be. 

Stay golden, brothers and sisters! 

Jzkk

 
     

Listen

Raise our hands and make dua. :)

As Salam

Problem in life is a must. When it hits you, we get suffocated and almost asphyxiated to death. And when it hits you to the core that you find it hard to fight it back,and when no one couldn't be bothered with your problem. Is anyone even listening to your grief and plead while providing you with help? The truth is no one...even the closest to you have no idea what to do.

If that is so, worry not dear brothers and sisters, we always have Allah, the most powerful and gracious who has always been there since to listen to our every fear, to witness our every tears, to comfort the resentment rested heavily in our heart, to sooth away the pain in a second, to guide our way, to show us the escape and the list just goes on and on. But the question is what have we done to show our unceasing loyalty to Him and to pay Him in return after all the things He has bellowed upon us? 

It is not only in the time of pain and trouble that we only seek for his help and mercy. Dear all, always submit ourselves to Him, the most forgiving and merciful before He takes the time out of ourselves. It is never too late to pray...because He always listens...listens and keeps listening. Confer your problem and trouble to Him because the problem seems to be a lot smaller and easier than we have thought when we have Allah.

Ya Allah, bless and forgive us all. Aminn

Jzkk

Last Class

As Salam

Alhamdulillah. All is well by far and things couldn't be anymore awesome, including my school attachment at SK PNZ. Two days have passed and three more days to go, and the best is yet to come.

Teaching Unplugged

Teaching the last class has always been a colossal dilemma and labyrinth for an amateur teacher like me, and we try our writs and grits avoiding teaching the last class. By that I mean, innuendos are attached to anything about the last class - hopeless, stupid and any other negative comments that one can come out with. Honestly, I used to have that kind of stereotype in my mind. Yet, the truth is they are not stupid nor hopeless. At the very first day of my school attachment at this new school, I discover that they are just as talented and bright as the valedictorian pupils in the first class in a sense that they channel out their curiosity into something called depraved behaviour. It is just that the thing teacher does in the class is not much helping them to invigorate and ameliorate their skills, and  what matters most is compelling their interest to learn and understand. Play and learn, however this concept is not being preached in our education.  

If a teacher can make the most out of the behaviour they have shown, I think it will be no surprise that one day they will be the brightest stars in the night sky...beating the rest...hovering the black pitch vale of horizon with their effulgent light. 

I know walking the talk is hardest part of all, that's why to make a change, one needs to glean their courage to take the first step ever. Let's make a little change around, bit by bit, and in sha Allah, wonders will happen.

Jzkk.

#looking very most forward to my first macroteaching with real school students this coming thursday. Ya Allah, please ease and bless our undertaking. Aminn.

Those Lilacs

Because we are survivor

....

We are wild lilacs

When 

Nobody

Tends us

Feeds us

Encourages us

Waters us

Yet

In any way

In every spring

We still fight the yard

Find the light

Keep blossoming

Colour the garden

And rise to the challenge

Because we are survivor

SubhanAllah...splendid!